This is my reply to a previous blog post of mine, Not another single Mum. In that post I talked about women who bring up their children without the father, through choice or otherwise.
Unfortunately there are some men out there who are not a constant fixture in their children’s lives. There are some who were left with no option to leave, and there are some who make the conscious decision to leave their children, and the mother of their children behind.
Far too often mothers are left to raise their children on their own, with only the support of family and friends. It’s a real shame that a child should be left without a father figure to look up to, and learn from. A fathers job is to protect, teach, and provide for his children, however many men do not share my opinion.
After speaking to some single mothers a re-occurring theme arises when they attempt to find a new man to share their lives with. Most men they date, are only looking for a short-term, non committed fling, opposed to a long-term future.
I fully understand that for a man to join an already established family, and attempt to gain both the mother’s and child’s trust is not easy, but for a man who would willingly date a woman whom he knows has a child and not want to have a relationship with the child in any capacity is not ideal by any means.
Luckily there are men out there who are willing to put their own agendas behind them, and join an already established family whilst having a profound and positive effect. These guys give their time and effort not only because they have fallen for a woman but because they are willing to raise and love somebody else’s child. These guys are a credit to them selves.
I’m sure you are all familiar with the saying “anyone can be a father, but it takes a man to be a dad.” This means DNA makes you a father, but giving your hand, time, knowledge and love to the child makes you a dad.
If you know one of these guys then I suggest you take a moment to appreciate what they have actually committed to.
If you are one of these men then I commend you, you stepped up when you were needed most.
As for the men who have ignored their responsibilities because they think their life would be better without a kid in it. You don’t know what you’re missing!